Roller Coaster Run

46kms, 2200m elevation and a lot of mud and pain! Pumped to get this done, though a little down about not being able to do it at the pace I wanted.

I had trained, though clearly not enough. My longest effort in the months leading up to the race was 23kms along the same loop. It was a toe-stubbing, curse-ridden affair which probably should’ve warned me about the impending race…I had done the same loop 3 times in the 2 weeks leading up with a best effort of approximately 3 hours. I knew I was up against the clock to taper down, though I also knew I needed to get in the kms. Another 2-3 weeks would have been ideal.

I was watching closely my friend who was also training for the race and was well ahead of me in kms. We’d decided (well I had at that point) to sign up one freezing cold August night on a torchlit run up in the Dandenong hills. Her idea of a good time or torture, or both… She loves Goggins :) After the run and my sweat starting to freeze, I got home and signed up for the 46km Ultra. Lets do it! Well, perhaps it did me…

The race humbled me. I wanted a challenge and I got it. About 23 kms in I was making great time and the my right foot hit a small rock and a felt a little jolt in my knee. I didn’t pay too much attention to it until about 28 kms in. Then it really started to give me grief. I could not descend faster than a slow walk. My first 21ks I clocked 2:26. The next 25 took me 4:24 with the last 4kms a painfully slow walk with two large sticks in my hands taking some of the burden as I made a miserable sight crawling towards the finish. I did manage to “jog” out the last 200m or so and had a lovely bit of encouragement from a lady who was passing me. I got to the end in 6:50 hours. Which wasn’t so bad considering the last 15 or so kms of mostly walking.

As I reflect I realise that the race showed me just how human I am. How fragile we can be. And also that we can push through immense pain to finish what we’ve set out to achieve. It may not be for everyone. In fact I know a lot of amateur athletes and only saw 3 others I knew on this run. Not at all saying that I am anything special. I am not. Though I do wonder where this need to push myself comes from. Is it something innate or learnt or both?

One answer lies in the natal chart. Our will, aggression and drive to get things done derives from our Mars energy. We all have this, it is more prevalent in some than others. It is our “warrior” energy and many modern day fighters have Mars in domicile in Aries. Khabib Nurmagomedov and Conar McGregor are two examples. My Mars lies in detriment in Libra. What does this mean? Well, my fight is more about peace and balance. Bringing two sides of the equation together. Its in my 4th house - family, safety, security. What I need to be able to feel like I can forge ahead into my vocation - Aries in the 10th House. So my battle is to be played out between keeping peace at home and creating a successful career in which I will be a little more fiery.

I also have Saturn - control, discipline, structure and limitations conjunct to Mars and Pluto. Mars and Saturn conjunct can mean my Mars energies are a little hidden and “controlled” at times, though they are there and with the powerful and transformative Pluto I seem to do whatever it takes to try and smash those limitations. To break out of the Saturnian ties that bind Mars. And from this I evolve (Pluto). At least that is how I see it. By pushing myself physically, testing my strength and endurance I transform into something new. Or more so, I get to “feel” more like my true self. I unleash my authentic Martian feelings where normally I would struggle. Nothing like 7 hours of running to feel more alive!

So there we have it. My Astrological take on a real life way of being. I like to know (or at least believe I do) how and why certain behaviours come about in myself and others. Reading charts has been mind-blowing in regards to how accurate they can be and how much they have helped me understand more about myself.

We don’t always get what we want. However, there is always a lesson we need in these experiences.