Thoughts and the Thinker

Souls

Have you ever thought “who is the thinker of your thoughts”? That your thoughts are not you? Can this “you” stand back and witness your thoughts as they come and go through your mind?

Eckhart Tolle says

“When you become aware of a thought, you are no longer trapped in it. A new factor has come in: awareness. As you watch the thought, you feel a conscious presence—your deeper self—behind or underneath the thought.”

There is so much power in being free of thoughts. Not to say we will ever be rid of them, though we can harness enough awareness to realise they are not us. They do not need to control us, define us or our destiny.

We - the intelligence behind thought, can determine our future. We can redefine our identity. Or more authentically, we can put aside the protective ego and start to feel into the true self, the psyche beyond.

“Be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior. You are beneath the thinker. You are the stillness beneath the mental noise. You are the love and joy beneath the pain.”

How do we tap into this deeper self? I have witnessed that some people are so attached to their thoughts that they cannot allow anything new to challenge their paradigm of identity. It terrifies them to consider there is something deeper, more real and true. Waiting and wanting to come out, to be seen, be loved and to love.

I don’t blame them. This was me for many years. As a boy growing up in a country town emotional expression was shunned. You were seen as weak and unworthy of friendship, let alone love. There is no blame here. Only a lingering grief at hiding the truest part of my being and a compassion for those that wish to shine and admiration for those that do.

Now I know it’s my duty to show my true self. I have been. Doing so is so vulnerable and so unfamiliar. The process has stirred up many emotions and feelings trapped in my body. Tears have flown, muscles have spasmed and I’ve needed deep rest. Though I feel free, lighter and for the first time ever I feel secure in myself. It’s strange. It’s beautiful. It is a work in progress as life just is.

I have loved bringing all of myself to the party. And I’ve struggled with it as well. To be continually aware of how one can sell themselves short and fall back into wearing the tattered old mask that once served us so well, has been exhausting. Though it’s getting easier.

Who would have ever thought being yourself would be so hard?

Well, I believe most of us know that it is. The weight of society's demands, familial expectations and cultural pressures bear down on us all. Very few are immune.

Though the soul won't be denied. It finds ways to reach out. Through dreams it speaks its symbolic language to us. Crying out to warn or guide us. Dare we listen and how would we know what these metaphorical visions tell us? This can be learnt…

Carl Jung talks about our soul being reflected to us in the external world if we cannot or will not acknowledge it internally.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

I believe there is a choice here we have to make. Remain unconscious and unaware of our soul/true self. Or we start the work on uncovering what is truly there for us. Our ego (the identity that we’ve created to define and protect ourselves) will not like this intrusion. It will fight to keep you safe, contained and restricted. There is no real growth here. Only the superficial growing like a poisonous moss over a cold dead rock that is so solid and stable in its purpose. To be still, a foundation for the fortress. Yet it is not alive.

Astrologically we may see fixedness in the Earth signs and charts with a strong Saturn. Fixed modalities may also show inflexibility around thinking. Yet a conjunction between the Sun and Mercury may be the most telling in the struggle to differentiate between our thoughts (Mercury) and our sense of identity or the ego (Sun).

There are many ways to start the journey of finding yourself. From Jungian Psych to Astrology to Plant Medicine or just being one of the fortunate people who just know their calling. I was not the latter. It has taken me decades. Yet I’m so glad and appreciative that I have taken the time to learn, to feel and to listen. I’d love to help you do the same.